Feeling inspired this morning. I had a great night’s rest and went for a run, and when I sat down to read the daily reflection for today, August 19, it felt like it was speaking directly to me. Let me put that in context. I have been working now, in a professional setting, ever since graduation in May. And it has been an adjustment. I had normalized behaviors, and was ignorant to how out of control my ego had gotten. Living a life of a drug addict, being on the streets, always fighting for that next hit, it became who I was. I had been feeling like I reached a plateau, and this past week I feel completely rejuvenated. I thank my boss for her kind words, and her willingness to show me how to reach the level of success I want. I work in financial services now, and it is everything I’ve dreamed of. And I am learning how to behave like a professional, not like a street kid. My boss, with love, had a heart to heart with me, and pointed out to me some areas I can work on. One of them being is that I don’t know everything! No shit, right? Well, apparently, I was giving off that impression. This brings me back to today’s daily reflection: “There is a wonderful feeling in not needing constant approval form colleagues at work or from the people I love. I wish I had known about this Step before, because I developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation, and that it was the correct thing to do.” Referring to our inventory again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? Alcoholics Anonymous, pg.67 It is fair to say that I’ve been all of that and more in the little time I’ve been at my new position. I am afraid what people will think of me, I was self-seeking and selfish towards my co-worker, and I have been dishonest with myself about who I was. And I am grateful how my boss made me aware. She never talked down to me, but she talked to me like a human, with respect, and very kindly, but with no bullshit, told me how I can improve. What a wonderful feeling it is to feel respected, and not like I have something to prove. God Bless. Thank you for reading.
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I landed my first job out of college at this great financial firm, and I couldn’t be more proud of the work I am doing. Not only are we educating people, I get to be there for people through the thick and thin. What I am noticing though is that I have an ego the size of the sun. I was so full of myself that I didn’t even realize I was being fake. I have done what I’ve had to do to survive the last 26 years of my life, and I am the hardest worker I know, besides my dad and brothers of course, but I am a but rough around the edges. I am a professional now. I am learning how to behave like a one, but I have a lot to learn. I have had a few different people tell me I am intimidating. I don’t mean to be. The lifestyle I chose to live has hardened me, and I have normalized that behavior. I am now seeing that. And I thank God that I have the awareness, and ability to recognize it, and work on it.
Being proud of the work I do has helped as well. I don’t want to jeopardize it by partying. I have an opportunity here to really build something to be satisfied with. I will learn how to be the best me I can. And I have a boss who, amazed as I am, sees me for who I really am. I’ve put on this mask for my entire life, trying to be someone I am not that I believed it myself. I have a lot of work to do to get where I want to be. But look at how far I’ve come already, and you can see I am hungry, that I have the drive and the hustle to build my business. I thank the Lord every morning for this chance. I am incredibly grateful for the life I now live. And I am extremely humbled by this next chapter in my life. What lasts isn’t easy, and what’s easy doesn’t last. God Bless. Thank you for reading. |
AuthorI am a grateful recovering alcoholic and substance abuser. I graduated from CSU with a BA in business, and am now a law student pursuing a career in the legal field. I hope you enjoy my site! Feel free to introduce yourself and share a story with me that I will publish! Archives
July 2020
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