I have always dreamed of being a business professional, but only recently have I been able to turn that dream into reality. When using, I dreamed of doing this, and that, but it never happened. I would wake up, and do the same thing every day; get some money and score so I don’t get sick, and try to avoid being arrested.
My life has purpose now. I am not chained down, a slave to the drugs; No, I am in control of my life. It is an amazing, liberating feeling. When a prisoner steps out as a free man, there must be a certain degree of insecurity; what will I do with all this time? I have always been told what to do, now I am making my own decisions. It can be overwhelming, remember Shawshank redemption? My grandma used to tell me, “Idle hands are the devils handiwork.” I now understand what that means. Being new in recovery, it is imperative to find an activity to pass the time. Try knitting, running, riding a bike, reading, writing, golfing; what did you enjoy as a child? I have found that what I enjoyed as a kid, is still enjoyable. I like to go fishing, ride dirt bikes, play golf, read, write, all things that I gave up when I started using. I threw away a lot of opportunities; full ride scholarships for basketball, or hockey, the chance to play junior hockey, but I learned a lot about myself, and am a better person because of what I went through. One thing I hold onto, that gives me hope and inspiration, is that I went through what I did as a young kid, and now being 26, I have my entire life ahead of me. I thought for the longest time that I was destined to live the life of a junkie, but that is not true. With discipline, determination, and the support of my family, and the proper treatment, I have addressed my issues. On slip and it could all be gone. The drugs want me to fail; to be weak, and long for their comforting presence. That warm feeling that overcomes you after a hit. It is crucial that I stay focused on recovery, because when I lose sight of it, I start to drift back into the darkness. “To whom much is given, much is expected” Luke 12:35 God bless.
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AuthorI am a grateful recovering alcoholic and substance abuser. I graduated from CSU with a BA in business, and am now a law student pursuing a career in the legal field. I hope you enjoy my site! Feel free to introduce yourself and share a story with me that I will publish! Archives
July 2020
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